v i v a l a v i d a

Kinokuniya In-Store Event with Dir en grey

2009-11-11T05:38:57Z

As I've said before, I entered the raffle to go to the Kinokuniya in-store event but did not win. However, Crystal (rasetsukoku) won and said she would take me (people entering the drawing could request a up to 2 tickets)!! 8D I got to Kinokuniya around 6:00pm and there was already a line of about 15 people. Line-up was supposed to start at 6:30pm. After standing near the door for a while staff came out and moved us to the corner to line up on 42nd st.

They let us in around 7:30pm, sending us to the door in pairs of two. After we got in they had a sign that said "Winners Only" near the escalator. Winners needed their ID out and a staff member would highlight their name off the guest list. A different staff member would then strap on a purple bracelet.

Up the escalator there was a small stand of merchandise. You had to buy something if you wanted to do the signing. They had the Average Blasphemy DVD, Uroboros CD, that rip-off t-shirt design from last year's tour, and a black shirt with a red design from the Brazil show (only in "medium"). I bought the Brazil shirt for $30, which is ridiculously small and I'll probably sell it.

front

back

Dir en grey's table was up against the windows. Our designated seating area was about 2 feet away and to the right of the miniature merch table. The first 5 ROWS of people sat on the floor and everyone else stood. Rows were about... 6 people wide? It was small. I was in the second row against the velvet rope barrier. To the right of me was a narrow path marked with black duct tape for Deg to walk up to the table, and to the right of that was the press. The press was about 15 people, mostly asian girls with big cameras, but there were a couple of "press" people who had simple point-and-shoot cameras so I have no idea what credited them as "press". It was very hot and they were playing Average Blasphemy on the TV mounted to the wall.

From here.
I circled myself. If you have a full account please send me a larger version of this!

Finally "The Lady Miz Diva Vélez" showed up, who is not a Latina tranny after all... She had a stick-on gem bindi on her forehead and shoulder length hair in various colors of faded purple. First she told us the "bad news" that Kyo could not make it because they "literally flew into NYC this morning". No one was surprised. Then a security guard went to get the other four members out from their hiding place.

I turned around and watched Karou, then Toshiya, Shinya, and Die walk by me as I was sitting on the floor. I immediately thought "it's like watching a moving photograph", since I have been hawking all the Dir en grey photos from this tour. They stood around the table awkwardly until Vélez told them to stand in front of her website banner for a photo. The press shot away. Then Deg took their seats, left to right: (Nora), Die, Shinya, Toshiya, Kaoru.

It was strictly press-only photography. They had two staff members keeping eyes on us for cameras and one staff member in charge of telling the press to turn off their flash. I don't remember the questions but at one point I got out my little notebook to write stuff down. I'm sure a script of the questions will be released eventually.

Let's see... Die was the only one with sunglasses on and I'm pretty sure his eyes were closed for the first 5 minutes. They were all looking down at the table and avoiding eye-contact with the fans. When Nora would translate she'd mumble and cover her mouth. Toshiya and Kaoru had to lean forward at times just to hear her. One simple question: "What's the most difficult thing about being in Dir en grey?", Nora took a long time translating and was mumbling. Kaoru leaned forward to ask her to repeat but luckily an unrelated Japanese guy nearby said the question again quickly and clearly. I don't know wtf was up with Nora. I forgot the answer, in case you wanted to know. It was generic grab-bag deg answer.

There was a question asking if NYC enjoyed their concerts differently than other cities. The band looked at one another and Die mumbled something to Shinya. The crowd giggled. Shinya took the mic, was about to speak but smiled and stopped. Die was smirking, very proud of himself for putting Shinya on the spot, Toshiya covered his smile with a hand, and Kaoru was very interested in the floor. Finally Shinya said something along the lines of "New york will enjoy the show how New Yorkers enjoy". It was cute.

Vélez asked, "What would the Dir en grey of 2009 say to the Dir en grey of 1997?" and the crowd went "oooohhhh". Toshiya and Shinya reached for the mic at the same time, but Toshiya answered, "There is nothing wrong with what you are doing now".

Shinya said New York is one of his favorite places outside of Japan.

What else... oh, when press wanted to go across the room for a different shot, they'd crawl on their hands and knees to not block our view. It was ridiculous and the crowd would laugh, but I think the members of Deg thought we were laughing at them. One girl (with a lame ass point-and-shoot camera), tried crawling across the floor but she was very awkward and knocked something over, then tripped. Kaoru and Toshiya looked mildly concerned (or annoyed?).

Vélez then offered the mic to people in the crowd who wanted to ask a question. Only a few people volunteered and none of them had questions. It was all commentary like "I've been a fan for X years and I wanted to say your music has moved me" or "because of Dir en grey I've met so many new people" and other things. I wish Vélez would have told us we could take the mic because I would have prepared something to say! Nora slacked in the translation of the fan words.

In their final words Kaoru said something about Kyo, I jotted down: "Kyo is not used to coming out in front of people but he hopes to enjoy the concert". I'm not sure how accurate that is but it's all I wrote. Hopefully we'll get a transcript soon.

After that we all got up and squished against the wall to make a line for signing. I didn't want them to sign the shirt so I had them sign the free poster for the event. Each member made eye-contact after they signed. I was definitely most intimidated by Kaoru, which I was not expecting. I don't know what I was expecting but I found that when I got to Karou I froze a bit. He's not even one of my favorites. Idk, something about the air I guess.

After the signing staff members quickly ushered us back downstairs to the register to pay for the merchandise. Once outside another staff member was in charge of dispersing the crowd so people would not loiter around Kinokuniya.

Aaaaaand that was it! Here's my poster.

I'll be at the Friday and Saturday NYC shows. See ya!

EDIT: flickr has updated with some photos

More here. Funny... I don't remember that table being red and blue. I must have been really overwhelmed to not notice that table :o

EDIT: mp3 of the event uploaded by myvinushka. it was originally posted here.

Mr. Food® Makes Dessert - Banana Bread

2009-07-21T05:49:45Z

↑ lol, 90s book cover
i've been using this book for this recipe since i was in middle school. i'm posting it here so i have it electronically. maybe one day i'll make something other than banana bread? hahaha. a loaf doesn't last more than 3 hours in my house before it's gone, everyone likes it.

Banana Bread - 1 Loaf

½ cup vegetable oil	1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup sugar	½ teaspoon baking powder
2 eggs, lightly beaten	½ teaspoon salt
3 ripe bananas, mashed	3 tablespoons milk
2 cups all-purpose flour	½ teaspoon vanilla extract

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Place oil in a large bowl. Gradually add the sugar while beating lightly. Add the eggs and continue beating. Add the mashed bananas and beat just until moistened. Set aside. In a separate bowl, combine the flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. Add the dry mixture to the banana mixture and beat just until moistened. Add the milk and vanilla extract and continue beating just until mixed. Pour the mixture into a greased and floured 9"x5" loaf pan and bake for 50-60 minutes or until a wooden toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Let cool in the pan on a wire rack for about 10 minutes. Turn out onto the rack and cool completely.

i like to use whole wheat flour, you can't tell the difference and it's better for you.

Declawing Cats

2009-02-21T21:57:25Z

Written by Veterinarian, Dr. Christianne Schelling

If you are considering declawing your cat, please read this. It will only take a moment, and it will give you valuable information to help you in your decision.

First, you should know that declawing is pretty much an American thing, it's something people do for their own convenience without realizing what actually happens to their beloved cat. In England declawing is termed "inhumane" and "unnecessary mutilation." I agree. In many European countries it is illegal. I applaud their attitude.

Before you make the decision to declaw your cat, there are some important facts you should know. Declawing is not like a manicure. It is serious surgery. Your cat's claw is not a toenail. It is actually closely adhered to the bone. So closely adhered that to remove the claw, the last bone of your the cat's claw has to be removed. Declawing is actually an amputation of the last joint of your cat's "toes". When you envision that, it becomes clear why declawing is not a humane act. It is a painful surgery, with a painful recovery period. And remember that during the time of recuperation from the surgery your cat would still have to use its feet to walk, jump, and scratch in its litter box regardless of the pain it is experiencing. Wheelchairs and bedpans are not an option for a cat.

No cat lover would doubt that cats--whose senses are much keener than ours--suffer pain. They may, however, hide it better. Not only are they proud, they instinctively know that they are at risk when in a weakened position, and by nature will attempt to hide it. But make no mistake. This is not a surgery to be taken lightly.

Your cat's body is perfectly designed to give it the grace, agility and beauty that is unique to felines. Its claws are an important part of this design. Amputating the important part of their anatomy that contains the claws drastically alters the conformation of their feet. The cat is also deprived of its primary means of defense, leaving it prey to predators if it ever escapes to the outdoors.

I have also had people tell me that their cat's personality changed after being declawed. Although, the medical community does not recognize this as potential side effect.

Okay, so now you realize that declawing is too drastic a solution, but you're still concerned about keeping your household furnishings intact. Is there an acceptable solution? Happily, the answer is yes. A big, joyful, humane YES! Actually there are several. The following website "Cat Scratching Solutions" provides many solutions as well as and insight into the psychology of why cats scratch. You can teach your cat to use a scratching post (sisal posts are by far the best). You can trim the front claws. You can also employ aversion methods. One of the best solutions I've found is Soft Paws®.

Soft Paws are lightweight vinyl nail caps that you glue on the cat's front claws. They're great for households with small children and are extremely useful for people who are away from home all day and can't exercise the watchfulness necessary to train a cat to use a scratching post. Soft Paws® are easy to apply and last about four to six weeks. They come in clear or colors--which are really fun. Now that's a kitty manicure! The colored caps look spiffy on Tabby or Tom and have the added advantage of being more visible when one finally comes off. Then you simply replace it. You can find Soft Paws® on the web by clicking here or call 1-800-989-2542.

You need to remember, though, that the caps and nail trimming should only be used on indoor cats who will not be vunerable to the dangers of the outdoors.

For a list of countries in which declawing is either illegal, or considered extremely inhumane and only performed only under extreme circumstances, or for medical reasons, CLICK HERE.

Not yet convinced? Click Here for "The Truth about Declawing - Technical Facts."

[text from declawing.com]

sentiments about journaling/story telling

2009-02-09T06:11:19Z

"Why, when something important happens to you, do you feel compelled to tell someone else about it?... It's as if nothing has happened until an event is made explicit in language... The process of story creation, of condensing an experience into a story-sized chunk that can be told in a reasonable amount of time is a process that makes the chunk smaller and smaller... Normally, after much retelling, we are left with exactly the details of the story we have chosen to remember. In short, story creation is a memory process... [that] creates the... structure that will contain the gist of the story for the rest of our lives. Talking is remembering."

-Roger C. Shank, Tell Me a Story

"If you say what's on your mind in the language that comes to you from your parents and your street and your friends you'll probably say something beautiful."

-Paul Marshall, From the Poets in the Kitchen

"Then if it is remembered, if the stories are still told and retold, does everything change?... It is reechoed in the Holocaust survivors' fierce determination to 'bear witness,' to return from hell and tell what they had seen. It barely mattered if there was someone listening. Few survivors were so optimistic as to think people would listen, nevertheless the tale is told aloud, to oneself, to prove that there is existence, to tame the chaos of the world, to give meaning. The tale certifies the fact of being and gives sense at the same time. Perhaps these are the same, because people everywhere have always needed to narrate their lives and worlds, as surely as they needed food, love, sex, and safety... Homo narrans, humankind as a story teller, is a human constant."

-Barbara Meyerhoff, Number Our Days

"We learn from events as we interpret them, and one of the main ways of interpreting them is by talking about them - by giving them shape in language."

"We've only got one life as participants. As spectators, countless lives are open to us. They are extensions of our own. And what is afoot when we are extending our experience into each other's as we gossip is above all an exploration of values. As I recount a story of events, I'm offering evaluations and I am looking to you listening to me to come back with your evaluations."

-James Britton, Writing to Learn and Learning to Write

uroboros lyrics - kanji, romaji, english

2008-11-22T07:02:30Z

02. VINUSHKA
雲と交わす　呼吸を止めて　
嗚呼　ただ　盲目の殻
此処が底か？陰りに身を焼かれ　
嗚呼　ただ　忘れていたい
蟻の巣へと　欲を滑らせ　
さあ　今　生まれ変わればいい

明日を眠らせて　振り向く安らぎ
鋭く尖る　感情に身を任せて
うねる流れさえ生きてる証と
涙に耽る明日を慕う

うえつくドグラ、マグラ
斑の痛みと唯一の人格
色取り取りに飾りつけられた瞳も、もういらない
また偽善が連れ去って行くのか？
独りきりの真っ赤な夜舞台
湧き上がる立役者に捧げる
此処が真実だ

誤魔化せない心の片隅には「まだ此処に居たい」
許せないのは誰？
冷えた声を響かせ　誓う

業と歩む　天地裂けた我この身と叫ぶ
罰と刻む　風と消えろ我の証は？

「金剛に輝く月はもう　見飽きそうなくらい眺めたんだ
狼にもなれそうにない　闇に狂いそうだ
首を喰らいたい　儚き残骸　眠らせはしないから
甘えたい年頃が・・・小夜なら　君に狂いそうだ」

誰しもが幸福とばかりに　手を伸ばし闇に潜む鬼となる
もうすでに終わりは生まれた
形は零に生まれ子宮に這い戻り腐る
繰り返す度　崩れてゆくお前等の面が

耳を砕く真相には誰も触れやしない
抑圧された意志

罪を贖い命よ去れ

儚きアンチテーゼ　咽び泣く地へと
テーゼに浸る共有に骨を埋めて
憂鬱、背負うまま　ざらつく津波に
さらわれ苦い涙と笑う
価値を見出せず　首縊り十三階段
手を叩き馴れ合う人
女々しい思想に混ざり傷付ける
そんな君がなんだか悲しすぎる

血しぶく　本能　踏み潰し
死を語る

業と歩む　天地裂けた我この身と叫ぶ
罰と刻む　風と消えろ我の証は？

耳を砕く真相には誰も触れやしない
抑圧された意志

罪を贖い命よ去れ

俺が悪があるが故に
生きる意味さえ罪なのか？

02. VINUSHKA
Kumo to kawasu kokyuu wo tomete
aa tada moumoku no kara
koko ga soko ka? Kageri ni mi wo yakare
aa tada wasurete itai
ari no su e to yoku wo suberase
saa ima umare kawareba ii

ashita wo nemurasete furimuku yasuragi
surudoku togaru kanjou ni mi wo makasete
uneru nagare sae ikiteru akashi to
namida to bashiru ashita wo sasou

uetsuku dogura, magura
hadara no itami to yuiitsu no jinkaku
irotoridori ni kazaritsukerareta hitomi mo, mou iranai
Mata gizen ga tsuresatte iku no ka?
hitori kiri no makka na yoru budai
wakiagaru tateyakusha ni sasageru
koko ga shinjitsu da

gomakasenai kokoro no katasumi ni wa „mada koko ni itai"
Yurusenai no wa dare?
hieta koe wo hibikase chigau

gou to ayumu tenshi saketa ware kono mi to sakebu
Batsu to kizamu kaze to kiero ware no akasi wa?

„konkou ni kagayaku tsuki wa mou miaki sou na kurai nagametan da
ookami ni mo naresou ni nai yami ni kuruisou da
kubi wo kuraitai hakanaki zangai nemurase wa shinai kara
amaetai toshigoro ga... sayonara kimi ni kuruisou da"

dareshi mo ga koufuku to bakari ni
te wo nobashi yami ni hisomu oni to naru
mou sude ni owari wa umareta
katachi wa zero ni umare shikyuu ni haimodori kusaru
kurikaeyu do kuzurete yuku omera no omo ga

mimi wo kudaku shinsou ni wa dare mo fure ya shinai
yokuatsu sareta ishi

tsumi wo bai inochi yo sare

hakanaki anchiteeze musebinaku chi e to
teeze ni hitaru kyouyuu ni hone wo umete
yuutsu, seou mama zaratsuku tsunami ni
saraware nigai namida to warau
kachi wo midasezu hibikukuri juusan kaidan
memeshii shisou ni mazari kizutukeru
sonna kimi ga nan da ka kanashisugiru

chi shibuku honnou fumitsubishi
shi wo kataru

gou to ayumu tenshi saketa ware kono mi to sakebu
Batsu to kizamu kaze to kiero ware no akasi wa?

mimi wo kudaku shinsou ni wa dare mo fure ya shinai
yokuatsu sareta ishi

tsumi wo bai inochi yo sare

ore ga aku de aru ga yue ni
Ikiru imi sae tsumi na no ka

02. VINUSHKA
I exchange thoughts with the clouds
I hold my breath
Ahh, it's just hard shell you can't see
Is that where the bottom is? The shadow burns me
Ahh, I just want to keep forgetting
Slip your desires into the ants' nest
Come now, all you have to do now is be reborn again

Let tomorrow sleep and peacefulness will turn to you
Free yourself and go with your razor sharp emotions
Even the twisted flow is the proof that you are alive
I invite the tearfully-indulging tomorrow

The inculcated Dogra Magra
The pain of the mark and the one and only personality
And those colorful eyes all decorated I don't want them anymore
Is hypocrisy going to come and take it away?
The lonely red stage at night
I dedicate the following to the aspiring leading actor
That's where the truth is

The small corner of my un-cheatable heart says "I still want to be here"
Who can't we forgive?
I let them hear my cold voice
And i swear

I will live with my work I scream with this body of flesh that separates heaven and hell
I carve the sins What will be the proof of my existence if it disappears with the wind?

"I've stared at the strong shining moon long enough to be bored
can't even turn myself into a werewolf
But just enough to become crazy by the darkness
I want to suck the neck
The emptiness of the remains
I won't let you sleep
At the age where you just want attention...tonight I might go crazy for you."

Everyone wants to reach out their hand and grab happiness
But they just end up becoming the monster that lies deep in darkness
The end has already come to life
It will take form at zero and will crawl back into the uterus and rot
Every time this happens your faces crumble

No one wants to talk about truth that hurts the ear
The suppressed minds

Compensate the sins and let life be gone

The emptiness of the antithesis
Becomes the choking and crying land
Bury the bones in the common land immersed in thesis
Be burdened by depression
The gritty tsunami takes me away and I smile with bitter tears
Couldn't understand the value of things
The hanging of the necks at the 13 stairs
Seeing people becoming friendly while clapping hands
That mixes in with sissy thoughts and hurts others
Seeing you like this it's just too sad

Splash of blood
Squashing basic instincts
Talk about death

I will live with my work I scream with this body of flesh that separates heaven and hell
I carve the sins. What will be the proof of my existence if it disappears with the wind?

No one wants to talk about the truth that hurts the ear
The suppressed minds

Compensate the sins, and let life be gone

Is it a sin for me to live because I am evil?

03. RED SOIL
Pressing the megaphone against the apostles open ear
Darkness and onanists are in attendance
I press a gun against the spectators' temples now
And my face lets out a smile every time
Saving.
It's prostitution to the kids who listen from the right and out the left
Twins and seven colours of rainbow
It can't be saved the sorrow
I question it all, why oh why?
甘く絡み合う偽り
どこも同じ
流れる血が混ざる
深く眠る
罪悪　心に刻み　行きながら死ね
手首に咲く　満開の桜
鴉の死骸に湧いた　愛らしいお前
残党肌　儚き涙か？
慈悲を国歌で燃やし
死して死を知れ
羊小屋で腰を振る正義
安らぎの裏に群らがり喰らう肌は何色？
大地は命を綴る啜り　赤土に変わる
宙を舞った　紙切れと権力
ピッキング　ドタマに開いた　幸福の性器
去勢された　全能なる神

03. RED SOIL
Pressing the megaphone against the apostles open ear
Darkness and onanists are in attendance
I press a gun against the spectators' temples now
And my face lets out a smile every time
Saving.
It's prostitution to the kids who listen from the right and out the left
Twins and seven colours of rainbow
It can't be saved the sorrow
I question it all, why oh why?
amaku karamichiau itsuwari
doko mo onnaji
nagareru chi ga mazaru
fukaku nemuru
zaiaku kokoro ni kizami ikinagara shine
tekubi ni saku mankai no sakura
karasu no shigai ni waita airashii omae
Zantou hada hakanaki namida ka?
jihi wo kokka de moyashi
shishite shi wo shire
hitsujigoya de koshi wo furu seigi
Yasuragi no ura ni gunra gari kurau hada wa nan iro?
daichi wa inochi wo tsuzuru susuri akatsuchi ni kawaru
chuu wo matta kami kire to kenryoku
pikkingu dotama ni aita koufuku no seiki
kyosei sareta zennou naru kami

03. RED SOIL
Pressing the megaphone against the apostle's open ear
Darkness and onanists are in attendance
I press a gun against all the spectator's temple now
And my face lets out a smile every time
Saving
It's prostitution to the kids who listen from the right and out the left
Twins and seven colors of rainbow
It can't be saved, the sorrow
I question it all, why oh why?
The deception of sweetly intertwining
It's the same everywhere
The flowing of blood mixes
I sleep deeply
I carve into my heart the sins
And I live on dying
The sakura blossoms on my wrist
Your beloved self breeds on the corpse of the crow
For the people on the losing end
Is it tears of emptiness?
Burn mercy with the National Anthem and understand death by dying
Justice humps in the sheep yard
What color of skin gathers behind comfort and eats?
The earth sucks the life out and turns itself into red soil
A piece of paper and power circles around in the air
The show wound to head of a cow
It's wide open
The genitals of happiness
The neutered almighty god

04. 慟哭と去りぬ
無色透明　上限無き暴走に
どんな顔をして溶け込む？
強制Ｍ見えない者への代償

Cries In Vain
Go Mad
曖昧な反逆感情
Cries In Vain
Ways To Destroy Your Ambition
Reborn

Faceless
曖昧で甘すぎてベタ付く声が
毎晩脳に溜まっていき口を塞ぐ始末で･･･
I'm Behind You
欲がパクリと口開いてんだろうが、いったい
何を求めているんだ？存在自体さえもが
I do not want to know

歪む顔に水を浮かべては泳ぐ真実
Rot away
Without you

Cries In Vain
Go Mad
曖昧な反逆感情
Cries In Vain
Ways To Destroy Your Ambition
Reborn
No Saving Me
誰も咎めてはいないはずもなく狂い求める
Blueなカラ空＋噛んだ爪跡
いったい何処に･･･
Do you live?

信じられないのは誰のせい？言葉巧みに
見せ掛けの選択無き道ばかりを
連れやってくる太陽
身体一つ全てをうけて　流す慈悲さえ
無言の肌を染めては溢れ出した
傷を胸に秘めて
Rot away
Without you

Cries In Vain
Go Mad
曖昧な反逆感情
Cries In Vain
Ways To Destroy Your Ambition
Reborn
運命だろうが壊してしまえ

04. DOUKOKU TO SARINU
mushoku toumei jougen naki bousou ni
donna kao o shi te tokekomu ?
kyousei M mie nai mono he no daishou

Cries In Vain
Go Mad
aimai na hangyaku kanjou
Cries In Vain
Ways To Destroy Your Ambition
Reborn
Faceless
aimai de ama sugi te beta tsuku koe ga
maiban nou ni tamatte iki kuchi o fusagu shimatsu de...
I ' m Behind You
yoku ga pa kuri to kuchi hirai te n daro u ga, ittai
nani o motome te iru n da ? sonzai jitai sae mo ga
I do not want to know

igamu kao ni mizu o ukabe te ha oyogu shinjitsu
Rot away
Without you

Cries In Vain
Go Mad
aimai na hangyaku kanjou
Cries In Vain
Ways To Destroy Your Ambition
Reborn
No Saving Me
dare mo togame te ha i nai hazu mo naku kurui motomeru
Blue na kara sora + kan da tsumeato
ittai doko ni...
Do you live ?

shinji rare nai no ha dare no sei ? kotoba takumi ni
misekake no sentaku naki michi bakari o
tsure yattekuru taiyou
shintai hitotsu subete o uke te nagasu jihi sae
mugon no hada o some te ha afure dashi ta
kizu o mune ni hime te
Rot away
Without you

Cries In Vain
Go Mad
aimai na hangyaku kanjou
Cries In Vain
Ways To Destroy Your Ambition
Reborn
unmei daro u ga kowashi te shimae

04. DOUKOKU TO SARINU (LAMENT AND LEAVE)
Colorless and transparent
Limitless recklessness
How will you fit in?
Forcing M
Compensation for those you can't see

Cries In Vain
Go Mad
The vague rebellion
Cries In Vain
Ways to Destroy Your Ambition
Reborn

Faceless
The voice that's vague, too sweet, and sticky
Every night it increases in my brain and ends up
filling my mouth...
I'm Behind You
I know it's desire opening its mouth, but
What do you want?
Your purely existence
I do not want to know

Water flows to your crooked face
The truth swims
Rot away
Without you

Cries In Vain
Go Mad
The vague rebellion
Cries In Vain
Ways to Destroy Your Ambition
Reborn
No Saving Me
Without not having anyone to blame
I start to go crazy
The Blue empty sky + the bite mark
Where the hell is it...?
Do you live?

Whose fault is it that I can't trust anymore?
The Sun talks skillfully, bringing in the choice that look good on the outside but are just dead ends
The body absorbs it all
Even mercy stains the unspoken skin and keeps a secret of those pains that overflow
Rot away
Without You

Cries In Vain
Go Mad
The vague rebellion
Cries In Vain
Ways to Destroy Your Ambition
Reborn
So what if it's fate, destroy it

05. 蜷局
「舌を殺す」　
「沈黙の白」
「言葉と浮腫みだす」
「躙り寄る切望」

転げ堕ちて行く誘惑に笑顔が張り付き
滲む夜はち切れた

「傷で傷を補う」
「闇と疑惑と性」
「狂う様に貪り合う」

撃ち鳴る放浪者よ

蝶の花弁を摘みながら笑う
切り付ける優越感
安息と散れ
拍車に壊れてさあ跨れ
現実と眼を閉ざす
彷徨い暮れるサヨナラ人間
響きはしない

撃ち鳴る順応者よ

求め群れる迷彩、破壊の羅列
現実、娯楽、無と傷を開き
指でなぞる答え
Dancing Slowly Forever Sick

05. TOGURO
' shita o korosu '
' chinmoku no shiro '
' kotoba to mukumi dasu '
' nijiriyoru setsubou '

koroge ochi te iku yuuwaku ni egao ga haritsuki
nijimu yoru hachikire ta

' kizu de kizu o oginau '
' yami to giwaku to sei '
' kuruu you ni musabori au '

uchi naru hourou sha yo

chou no hanabira o tsumi nagara warau
kiritsukeru yuuetsu kan
ansoku to chire
hakusha ni koware te saa matagare
genjitsu to me o tozasu
urotsui kureru sayonara ningen
hibiki ha shi nai

uchi naru junnou sha yo

motome mureru meisai, hakai no raretsu
genjitsu, goraku, mu to kizu o hiraki
yubi de nazoru kotae
Dancing Slowly Forever Sick

05. TOGURO (COIL)
"Kill the tongue"
"The Silence of the White"
"It bloats as words"
"Eagerness crawls near"

The crumbling temptation has a smiling face
The blurred night bursts
"Cover scars with scars"
"Darkness, Doubt and Human Nature"
"Crave each other like crazy"

Shooting of the people that can adapt

She picks the petals of the butterfly smilingly
Superiority
Scatter peacefully
Be broken so mount
Shut your eyes and yourself from reality
The loser human drifts forever
It won't be heard

Shooting of the people that can adapt

The demand the gathering for the camouflage, the destruction of order in the lines
Reality, entertainment, and the nothingness opens up the wound
You trace the answer with your finger

Dancing Slowly Forever Sick

06. GLASS SKIN
ブレ始めた視界
ガラスの空、風の色
独り流れているメリーゴーランド
手を振る
後ろめたさより　どことなく薄れた声
明日自分を置き去りに眠る
喜劇の涙より誰よりも儚く
奪われるまま汚れるまま
ココに...

一夜明けた暗い朝に窓を額に見立て
眠る肌起こし濡れた絵に手を伸す
春が川に散らす命ユラユラ何所へ行く？
重たく閉ざした扉に手をかける
パレードの亡骸　静けさが今日も俺を
眠らせない真実と笑う
喜劇の涙より誰よりも儚く
奪われるまま汚れるまま
ココに愛を...
おどけて踊る四季がどこまでも痛く
奪われるまま汚れるまま
差し出す夢に溶けて

I bleed as my way of compensating everything to you
How heavy is blood?
Happiness and sadness lies too close
生まれてくれ明日の手は純粋そのままで
涙で君がもう見えない

喜劇の涙より誰よりも儚く
奪われるまま汚れるまま
ココに愛を...
君を見下ろせる一つ観覧車
ただ崩れ行く旋律さえ
甘く綺麗で怖い
浅い言葉より太陽にさらされた
影が焼け付く心に触れ

06. GLASS SKIN
Bure hajimeta shikai
garasu no sora, kaze no iro
hitori nagareteiru Merry-Go-Round
te wo furu
ushirometasa yori dokotonaku usureta koe
asu jibun wo okisari ni nemuru
kigeki no namida yori dare yori mo hakanaku
ubawareru mama kegareru mama
koko ni...

ichiya aketa kurai asa ni mado wo gaku ni mitate
nemuru hada okoshi nureta e ni te wo nosu
haru ga kawa ni chirasu inochi yurayura doko e iku?
omotaku tozashita tobira ni te wo kakeru
Parade* no nakigara shizukesa ga kyou mo ore wo
nemurasenai shinjitsu to warau
kigeki no namida yori dare yori mo hakanaku
ubawareru mama kegareru mama
koko ni ai wo...
odokete odoru shiki ga doko made mo itaku
ubawareru mama kegareru mama
sashidasu yume ni tokete

I bleed as my way of compensating everything to you
How heavy is blood?
Happiness and sadness lies too close
umarete kure asu no te wa junsui sono mama de
namida de kimi ga mou mienai
kigeki no namida yori dare yori mo hakanaku
ubawareru mama kegareru mama
koko ni ai wo...
kimi wo mioroseru hitotsu no kanransha
tada-kuzure yuku senritsu sae
amaku kirei de kowai
asai kotoba yori taiyou ni sarasareta
kage ga yaketsuku kokoro ni fure

06. GLASS SKIN
It comes and slowly stains my heart
That's been cold, all alone and so tightly closed
The sins are scattered everywhere
They're around me
I can't see it
It vainly comes just crashing down
In this sad and forgotten little town
The truth we tend to look the other way from lies down deep

I open out my wings of glass
Up and towards the wind melted future
So just please don't go
Please don't go
Be close to you

I lay my hand on top of the heavy and closed-out door and I pray
The lonely future left for me is one meaning of just living
It comes and slowly stains my heart
That's been cold, all alone and so tightly closed
The sins are scattered everywhere
They're around me
I can't see it
It vainly comes just crashing down
In this sad and forgotten little town
The truth we tend to look the other way from lies down deep

I open out my wings of glass
Up and towards the wind melted future
So just please don't go
Please don't go
Wanna be close to you
I'm now forgetting even the colors of your tears and love
So just please don't go
Please don't go
Holding on strong to what lies ahead

I bleed as my way of compensating everything to you
How heavy is blood?
Happiness and sadness lies too close

The hand of the child born tomorrow will be just pure and nothing else
I can barely see you with all these tears

I open out my wings of glass

Up and towards the wind melted future
So just please don't go
Please don't go
Wanna be close to you
I'm now forgetting even the colors of your tears and love
So just please don't go
Please don't go
Holding on strong to what lies ahead

The bells of reality rings out loudly from down deep within
And disappears along with all the wind

07. STUCK MAN
雁字搦めの街　
涙ぐむ　この子の手を引きながら
歓楽街裏道を法の糸すり抜け売る
廃魚にくわえさせた魚肉と苦いcarnival
Bloodstained carnival
実際何も分からないまま
肺に吸い込まれて行く害悪
Humanist の寸劇
Heil Jap
幼心は腐食し　生温い蛆に返る
日々なれしたしんで服用する
遺伝子組み換えられた物同様
Fake God wake up and go to hell
奴等の思想に墓石を叩き付けるのは誰？
高く積み上げたプライドを薔薇が再び首と刈る
Bloodstained carnival
実際何も分からないまま
肺に吸い込まれて行く害悪
Humanist の寸劇
Heil Jap
幼心は腐食し　生温い蛆に返る
Shut Up
Bullshit
Shut up
Shut fucker
All things are touched in the head
Escape
1lbの肉を削ぎ落とせない苦しみ
2日ばかりで記憶から消えて行く幸福
3度目の正直なんて誰も信じない
But this is the fact
Do what I say
Kill Yourself
貴様等も精神性ナルシスト
決楽の集団レイプ
Fuck the system.

07. STUCK MAN
ganjigarame no machi
namidagumu kono ko no te o hiki nagara
kanrakugai uramichi o hou no ito surinuke uru
hai gyo ni kuwae sase ta gyoniku to nigai carnival
Bloodstained carnival
jissai nani mo wakara nai mama
hai ni suikoma re te iku gaiaku
Humanist no sungeki
Heil Jap
osanagokoro ha fushoku shi namanurui uji ni kaeru
hibi nare shitashin de fukuyou suru
idenshi kumi kae rare ta mono douyou
Fake God wake up and go to hell
yatsura no shisou ni hakaishi o tatakitsukeru no ha dare ?
takaku tsumiage ta puraido o bara ga futatabi kubi to karu
Bloodstained carnival
jissai nani mo wakara nai mama
hai ni suikoma re te iku gaiaku
Humanist no sungeki
Heil Jap
osanagokoro ha fushoku shi namanurui uji ni kaeru
Shut Up
Bullshit
Shut up
Shut fucker
All things are touched in the head
Escape
1 lb no niku o sogi otose nai kurushimi
2 nichi bakari de kioku kara kie te iku koufuku
3 dome no shoujiki nante dare mo shinji nai
But this is the fact
Do what I say
Kill Yourself
kisama tou mo seishin sei narushisuto
ketsu raku no shuudan reipu
Fuck the system.

07. STUCK MAN
The trapped city
Eyes fill with tears
I slip thru the alley behind the amusement city holding the child's hand and I sell
The flesh of the fish held inside the dead fish's mouth and the bitter carnival
Bloodstained carnival
Without even knowing it, the good and the evil gets sucked into our lungs
It's the short play by the Humanists
Heil Jap
The young souls corrode and transform back into lukewarm maggots
Day by day we get used to it and we just take it in like medicine
Just like those things that are genetically modified
Fake God wake up and go to hell
Who throws tombstones to their ideology?
The rose trims again, the neck of the people with their prides highly stacked
Bloodstained carnival
Without even knowing it, the good and the evil gets sucked into our lungs
It's the short play by the Humanists
Heil Jap
The young souls corrode and transform back into lukewarm maggots
Shut up
Bullshit
Shut up
Shut Fucker
All things are touched in the head
Escape
The pain of not being able to slice off 1lb of meat
The happiness that lasts in my memory for only 2 days
No one believes the saying, the third time does the trick
But this is the fact
Do what I say
Kill Yourself
You are all mental narcissists
The pleasure of group rape
Fuck the system

08. REIKETSU NARISEBA (COLD BLOODEDNESS) (冷血なりせば)
You're the one that's lost now
You shallow shit with that sad little look on your face
Why don't you just grow yourself some wings of pity

Lose track of where you are, all dolled up as a star...? You make me laugh

SUCK ME
DESTROY

Even when you talk big, you do it by protecting yourself
SUCK ME

09. 我、闇とて・・・
限られた時間の狭間で風に染まり
立ち止る俺は誰？
有り触れた言葉の狭間で壊れていき
繰り返す此処は何処？
意志を闇に染て
息を断つ事も簡単で・・・だけどまだほんの少し君に触れ� �いたい
生きる事を許してくれますか？
ある日差しの強い朝、目を開き涙が初めて意味に触れられ� �気がしたんだ
傍に君が居ると何故だが悲しい
一つになれないのは何故？
手を開き壊れそうな言葉でも、ただ一つでもいい
その胸に突き刺さる程の刃を心にくれ
代償の儚さ　熟れていき　ただ闇とて
夕暮れ　がなり立てる
ある日差しの強い朝、目を開き涙が初めて意味に触れられ� �気がしたんだ
傍に君が居ると何故だが悲しい
一つになれないのは何故？
手を開き壊れそうな言葉でも、ただ一つでもいい
その胸に突き刺さる程の刃を胸に
忘れてしまえば人は変われるもの？
忘れても、変われても、君でもない事も
正しい価値さえ　冷酷に見えて
せめて今を声に変えて
明日の条件
優しすぎる悲鳴、愛は形を変えて
苦しさも忘れ自分も忘れて
だけど今は　噛み締めて流れる証と・・・
正しい価値さえ　冷酷に見えて
せめて今を声に変えて
明日の条件

生きるという名の証を・・・

09. WARE, YAMI TOTE ...
kagira re ta jikan no hazama de kaze ni somari
tachidomaru ore ha dare ?
arifure ta kotoba no hazama de koware te iki
kurikaesu koko ha doko ?
ishi o yami ni some te
iki o tatsu koto mo kantan de... dakedo mada honno sukoshi kimi ni fure ? ? i tai
ikiru koto o yurushi te kure masu ka ?
aru hizashi no tsuyoi asa, me o hiraki namida ga hajimete imi ni fure rare ? ? ki ga shi ta n da
soba ni kimi ga iru to naze da ga kanashii
hitotsu ni nare nai no ha naze ?
te o hiraki koware sou na kotoba de mo, tada hitotsu de mo ii
sono mune ni tsukisasaru hodo no ha o kokoro ni kure
daishou no hakana sa ure te iki tada yami to te
yuugure ga nari tateru

aru hizashi no tsuyoi asa, me o hiraki namida ga hajimete imi ni fure rare ? ? ki ga shi ta n da
soba ni kimi ga iru to naze da ga kanashii
hitotsu ni nare nai no ha naze ?
te o hiraki koware sou na kotoba de mo, tada hitotsu de mo ii
sono mune ni tsukisasaru hodo no ha o mune ni
wasure te shimae ba hito ha kawa reru mono ?
wasure te mo, kaware te mo, kimi de mo nai koto mo
tadashii kachi sae reikoku ni mie te
semete ima o koe ni kae te
ashita no jouken
yasashi sugiru himei, ai ha katachi o kae te
kurushi sa mo wasure jibun mo wasure te
dakedo ima ha kamishime te nagareru akashi to...
tadashii kachi sae reikoku ni mie te
semete ima o koe ni kae te
ashita no jouken

ikiru toiu na no akashi o...

09. WARE, YAMI TOTE ... (I, DARKNESS...)
Who am I?
Who stops and stands still as I entrust myself to the wind, in-between the times that are limited?
Where is this place?
This place that comes crushing down, all in-between those common and familiar words?
I taint my intentions with darkness
It's easy to stop breathing...but I just want to feel you just a little more
Will you allow me to live?
One bright morning, I opened my eyes and it came tears I felt like I've realized the meaning for the first time
Don't know why, but I feel sadness when you're near me
Why can't we become one?
I put my hands out for those words that are too fragile, even just one
Please give my heart something, anything like a blade sharp enough to strike you
The emptiness of compensating
It ripens
Into just darkness...
The shouting of the sunset
One bright morning, I opened my eyes and it came tears I felt like I've realized the meaning for the first time
Don't know why, but I feel sadness when you're near me
Why can't we become one?
I put my hands out for those words that are too fragile, even just one
Please give my heart something, anything like a blade sharp enough to strike you
If you just erase your memory do you think that you can change?
If it's forgotten and changed, and you weren't you anymore
The correct value of all things will begin to look cruel
At least let me change what I have now into a voice
The terms and conditions of tomorrow
The screams are too sweet, love changes its shape
Forgetting the pain and forgetting myself
But now, I take it day by day with the flowing proof...
The correct value of all things will begin to look cruel
At least let me change what I have now into a voice
The terms and conditions of tomorrow

With the proof in the name of living...

10. BUGABOO
手探りでくわえ込む自己欺瞞
ドギマギ醜く苦い？甘い？
忘れるな今の瞳を
The fate

Lost
The justice died just now
It killed
Rationality and arrogance
I am crushed

You can't speak the truth without crying
I dare you to just come out and spit it out
My beloved with a three bump belly

誰もが欲しいはずの「愛」です。
彼女は腰を下ろし時に食われる

I get ADDICTED
I'M DEAD
The SMELL, it SMELLS of saccharine

灼熱の曼荼羅へ散りけり
蒼に上がる黒煙　戻りたい？戻れない？

"If love is just something you get used to, then why be born at all?"

The catastrophe
For whom do we kill?
I'm killed again today by its twisted essence
I kiss the destruction type fly

いつまでも、どこまでも笑い声が止まらない
壊れる瞳を剥いて・・・

10. BUGABOO
tesaguri de kuwae komu jiko giman
dogimagi minikuku nigai ? amai ?
wasureru na ima no hitomi o
The fate

Lost
The justice died just now
It killed
Rationality and arrogance
I am crushed

You can't speak the truth without crying
I dare you to just come out and spit it out
My beloved with a three bump belly

dare mo ga hoshii hazu no ' ai ' desu.
kanojo ha koshi o oroshi toki ni kuwa reru

I get ADDICTED
I'M DEAD

The SMELL, it SMELLS of saccharine

shakunetsu no mandara he chiri keri
ao ni agaru kuro kemuri modori tai ? modore nai ?

" If love is just something you get used to, then why be born at all ?"

The catastrophe
For whom do we kill ?
I'm killed again today by its twisted essence
I kiss the destruction type fly

itsu made mo, doko made mo waraigoe ga tomara nai
kowareru hitomi o mui te...

10. BUGABOO
Trying to figure out how, she puts it in her mouth
The self-deception
It is bitter and ugly in confusion? Or is it sweet?
Don't forget the eyes you see now
The fate

Lost
The justice died just now
It killed
Rationality and arrogance
I am crushed

You can't speak the truth without crying?
I dare you to just come out and spit it out
My beloved with a three bump belly

"Love" is what everyone's supposed to want
She lowers herself down, and at times gets fucked

I get A D D I C T E D
I' M D E A D
The S M E L L, it S M E L L S of saccharine

It scatters into the burning-hot mandala
The black smoke rises blue
Do you want to go back? Or can't you?

"If to love is just something you get used to, then why even be born at all?

The catastrophe

For whom do we kill?
I'm killed again today, by its twisted essence
I kiss the destruction type fly

The laughing voice doesn't stop here or forever
I skin the soon-to-be-broken eye...

11. 凱歌、沈黙が眠る頃
These eyes opened up and understood everything
Our battle what do you think about this fist that shakes in anger?
アノ壁を越えろ
The good and the bad have all been rooted into us
破壊　絶望　色即是空

No turning back
A boon or a bane
Every night death opens its mouth, tangles it's tongue and comes for me
No turning back

Salute the monkey
Salute the monkey
The desire to combine with god
Sex with a humanoid

望まれない？愛でもない？
FOREVER ABANDONED
生まれる事の自由に
疑い失う物がないなら・・・

Our battle what do you think about this fist that shakes in anger?
アノ壁を越えろ

Justice for dying
後戻りが出来ないのは誰だ？
言い訳がしましいのはもううんざりだ
台車に積み上げた肉と　
八方塞がりで気付きやがる
式場は甘い密の香りだろ？
ガラス越しに決して目を離さない
アウシュビッツは沈黙に狂う
貴様等に神をくれてやる

Salute the monkey
Salute the monkey
The desire to combine with god
Sex with a humanoid

望まれない？愛でもない？
生まれる事の自由に
疑い失う物が
戸惑う間も無くただ　受ける入れる現実は
夢さえ全て錆びさせるから

Solution and tomorrow, that's rubbish
Devil In A Midnight Mass

11. GAIKA, CHINMOKU GA NEMURU KORO
These eyes opened up and understood everything
Our battle what do you think about this fist that shakes in anger ?
ano kabe o koero
The good and the bad have all been rooted into us
hakai zetsubou shikisokuzekuu

No turning back
A boon or a bane
Every night death opens its mouth, tangles it ? s tongue and comes for me
No turning back

Salute the monkey
Salute the monkey
The desire to combine with god
Sex with a humanoid

nozoma re nai ? ai de mo nai ?
FOREVER ABANDONED
umareru koto no jiyuu ni
utagai ushinau mono ga nai nara...

Our battle what do you think about this fist that shakes in anger ?
ano kabe o koero

Justice for dying
atomodori ga deki nai no ha dare da ?
iiwake ga shi mashi i no ha mou unzari da
daisha ni tsumiage ta niku to
happoufusagari de kiduki ya garu
shikijou ha amai mitsu no kaori daro ?
garasu goshi ni kesshite me o hanasa nai
auschwitz ha chinmoku ni kuruu
kisama tou ni kami o kure te yaru

Salute the monkey
Salute the monkey
The desire to combine with god
Sex with a humanoid

nozoma re nai ? ai de mo nai ?
umareru koto no jiyuu ni
utagai ushinau mono ga
tomadou ma mo naku tada ukeru ireru genjitsu ha
yume sae subete sabi saseru kara

Solution and tomorrow, that's rubbish
Devil In A Midnight Mass

11. GAIKA, CHINMOKU GA NEMURU KORO (VICTORY, THE SILENCE OF SLEEP)
These eyes opened up and understood everything
Our battle What do you feel about this fist that shakes in anger?
Climb over that wall
The good and the bad have all been rooted in us
Destruction Despair
All visible things are in vain

No turning back
A boon or a bane
Every night, death opens its mouth, tangles its tongue and comes for me
No turning back

Salute the monkey
Salute the monkey
The desires to combine with god
Sex with a Humanoid

Undesired? Is it not love?
FOREVER ABANDONED
If there're no doubts and nothing to lose, to the freedom of being born...

Our battle What do you feel about this fist that shakes in anger?
Climb over that wall

Justice for dying
What's the one that can't turn back?
I'm tired of all the excuses
You notice it only when the flesh gets piled up on the cart and when all sides get blocked
The ceremonial halls are a taste of sweet honey right?
Watching it thru the glass window, you never look away
Auschwitz goes crazy in silence
I'll give you god

Salute the monkey
Salute the monkey
The desires to combine with god
Sex with a Humanoid

Undesired? Is it not love?
If there's not a single moment to be at lost at having no doubts and nothing to lose, to the freedom of being born
Then the reality we must face will turn everything, even dreams into rust

Solution and tomorrow, that's rubbish
Devil In A Midnight Mass

12. DOZING GREEN
蟲喰う瞳に見せられ息閉じる
撫で下ろした心がポロリ
清々しい太陽が
雨音ザラリグラリ混ざって

裂けた胸躍らせ空しさに問う
白い声　漏れる息　In The Sun

淫らに開けた傷口
無と消え成る、Dogmaの風
溶け出す君の心臓

薄暗い朝、響くサヨナラ

裂けた胸躍らせ空しさに問う
ただ今は独りでいたい

一輪の春、涙もろい首と地を這う君さえも

Love Me

Abandon Hope

12. DOZING GREEN
mushi kuu hitomi ni miserare iki tojiru
nade oroshita kokoro ga porori
sugasugashii taiyou ga
amaoto sarari gurari mazatte

sageta mune odorase munashisa ni tou
shiroi koe　　moreru iki　　In the sun

midara ni aketa kizuguchi
mu to kie naru, dogma no kaze
tokedasu kimi no shinzou

usugurai asa, hibiku sayonara

saketa mune odorase munashisa ni tou
tada ima wa hitori de itai

ichirin no haru, namida moroi kubi to chi wo hau kimi sae mo

Love me

Abandon hope

12. DOZING GREEN
Mesmerized by those eyes, those bug eating eyes
My breathing just stops I calm my heart and it just sheds a tear
The bright and refreshing sunlight
Mixes itself round and round along with the sound of the rain

My torn out heart let it dance now. I question the emptiness
The white voices leaking of my breath In The Sun

The obscene exposure of the wound
Becomes nothingl ike the dogma's own wind
You're now melting Your heart is melting

In the dark morning I hear you whisper sayonara

My torn out heart let it dance now I question the emptiness
Right now I wanna be all alone now

It's the season of spring weeping eyes cry tears
Your neck-less body crawls can't save you now

Love Me

Abandon hope

13. INCONVENIENT IDEAL
波に呑まれたモラルは籠に揺れ眠る
地に落とされる雨は止む事なくただ打ち続ける

殻に閉じた愛情さえ、心破る獣に呑まれて
何がそうさせる？胸に手を当て
産声は昨日の時と去る

声を出せず消えてゆく
争い得たものそれは自由なのか？
夢の体温感じ願う
閉じた瞳

声を出せず消えてゆく
争い得たものそれは自由なのか？
夢の体温感じ願う
全てが捻じ曲がる
紅い闇の中
高々しく掲げた命を

13. INCONVENIENT IDEAL
nami ni noma re ta moraru ha kago ni yure nemuru
chi ni otosa reru ame ha yamu koto naku tada uchi tsudukeru

kara ni toji ta aijou sae, kokoro yaburu shishi ni noma re te
nani ga sou sa seru ? mune ni te o ate
ubugoe ha kinou no toki to saru

koe o dase zu kie te yuku
arasoi e ta mono sore ha jiyuu na no ka ?
yume no taion kanji negau
toji ta hitomi

koe o dase zu kie te yuku
arasoi e ta mono sore ha jiyuu na no ka ?
yume no taion kanji negau
subete ga neji magaru
akai yami no naka
takadaka shiku kakage ta inochi o

13. INCONVENIENT IDEAL
The morals swallowed by the waves sway inside the basket and sleeps
The rain drops onto this earth and doesn't stop
It keeps on hitting the ground

Even the love that's locked inside the shell, is swallowed by the heartless beast
What makes them do it?
I put my hand on my heart
The baby's first cry disappears with yesterday

It disappears without even being able to let out a word
Was it freedom that we won?
Feeling the body temperature of my dreams and I pray
My eyes shut closed

It disappears without even being able to let out a word
Was it freedom that we won?
Feeling the body temperature of my dreams and I pray
Everything gets wasted
Deep into the red darkness
The life I hold high and proud of

Hypertrophic Scarring & Piercings

2007-11-05T06:19:26Z

Two types of scars are the result of the body overproducing collagen. This can cause scarring to be raised above the surrounding skin. Hypertrophic scars take the form of a red raised lump on the skin, but do not grow beyond the boundaries of the original wound, and often improve in appearance after a few years. Keloid scars are a more serious form of scarring, because they can carry on growing indefinitely into a large, tumorous (though usually benign) growth. Keloids should not be confused with hypertrophic scars, which may be reduced over time.

Healing
Hypertrophic scars also tend to heal themselves, decreasing in size and irritability over time, usually a 12-18 month period. The scars will not disappear entirely, however. If the scar continues to grow removing the jewelry and allowing the piercing to close is often the only remedy.

• Vitamin E - Some suggest that using creams containing Vitamin E can help speed up the healing process, and lessen the appearance of any scar afterwards. Other research, however, suggests that applying Vitamin E to post surgical scars does not reduce the size, shape, or color of scars and can, in up to one third of patients, result in contact dermatitis, allergic reactions, or other irritation that can worsen a scar's appearance.

• Tea Tree Oil - Tea tree oil can be used, although sparingly, as tea tree oil is very drying and can damage the unscarred skin and jeopardize your piercing. This is not recommended for use on new and/or healing piercings.

• Sea Salt Soaks -
-Wash your hands thoroughly with antibacterial or antimicrobial soap.
-Place about a pinch of non-iodized sea salt in a small disposable cup or a clean shotglass.
-Add hot water (has to be hot, but not so hot that you'd burn yourself) to the cup. Fill the cup about 1/2 to 3/4 full.
-Soak the area for about 5-10 minutes.
-Rinse thoroughly with water and pat dry with unused/clean towel (used towels carry TONS of bacteria)... or air dry.

• Chamomile Compress - Take a chamomile tea bag and dip it in boiling water. Immediately take the bag out and use as a compress upon the scarring, for 15 minutes. If you do this 2-3 times per day for 3-4 days, the scarring should go down. This does not work for everyone or on all piercings, but many people who have used it on cartilage piercings have reported positive results.

• Cortisone - OTC hydrocortisone ointments and creams containing from 0.5% to 1% cortisone can sometimes be used to shrink scar tissue.

Ear Scarring:
shiny x_x (w00t this is me XD;)
'kay? so don't freak out it's normal and easy to fix ♥ just thought i'd pass on the info because knowledge is power.

other healing tips i suggest the LIMA method.

awkward greeting

2007-10-29T20:58:54Z

1. what's up

An extremely annoying question that has (unfortunately) replaced "Hello" or "Hi" as the most popular form of casual greeting. For full effect, best delivered while walking past someone at about 90 m.p.h. so the person you're talking to has no time to respond, and in a tone that suggests you really don't give a shit about "what's up" with them.

Dude #1: "Hey, man. What's up?"
Dude #2: "Uh..." (all he managed to get out before Dude #1 was too far away to hear the rest)

Manners

2007-08-11T06:20:51Z

because people piss me off. take this all with a grain of salt... obviously depending on the atmosphere you won't have to follow certain rules.
[i already know brandon hates this sort of thing and doesn't care how others perceive him and thinks it's arrogant suggesting that there is a specific way to act in front of others. i get it. but i'm still posting it ♥

FOOD
• Chew with your mouth closed.
• Do not talk when your mouth is full.
• Try to avoid slurping/smacking and other eating sounds.
• Take small bites.
• Eat slowly.
• Elbows off the table.
• It is never appropriate for a woman to place her purse on a dining table.
• Don't make any rude comments about any food being served.
• Always say thank you when served something.
• Wait until everyone is served before eating.
• Do not drink a toast to oneself
• Soup is spooned away from you toward the center of the bowl to keep from dripping.
• Do not reach over someone's plate for something, ask for the item to be passed to you.
• Do not pick anything out of your teeth, if it bothers you that much, excuse yourself and go to the restroom.
• Use a napkin to dab your mouth, which should be on your lap when not in use. Do not wipe your face or blow your nose with a napkin. Excuse yourself to the restroom to do those things.
• When eating at someone's home or a guest of someone at a restaurant, always thank the host and tell them how delicious it was, even if it wasn't.
• Ask to be excused from the table before leaving the rest of the family or guests.
• Your napkin should never be placed on the table until everyone exits the table at the end of a meal. Place it on your chair if you must leave the table during a meal. After the meal is over, place it on the table, to the left of your plate.

CELL PHONES
• When with company keep incoming calls as short as possible: say you'll call back.
• When with a group of people, excuse yourself to leave the room or set aside to answer an incoming call.
• When with a date or a business contact try to ignore incoming call by quickly looking at the caller ID display and saying: "Oh, I'll call them later". Unless it is an important call, excuse yourself emphatically before taking the call.
• Put your phone in vibrate or silent mode during meetings, meals, events and at theaters.
• Be prepared to have the right reflexes in case you forgot to turn off your phone. If it rings, try pressing the "end" button 2-3 times to interrupt the call then power off your cell phone.
• Don't shout.
• If the connection is bad, tell the caller that you will call back when you find a spot with better coverage.
• Choose a ringtone you won't regret. Consider what the ringtone says about you and the environment in which it rings.
• Be aware of your surroundings; don't conduct nonessential calls in public transportation, restaurants, checkout lines, elevators, bathrooms, and other close quarters.
• Talking on a cell phone while driving is dangerous and illegal in some states.
• Don't leave your cell phone on a table and then walk away. If it rings or vibrates, it will bother everyone.

PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION
• Don't look people directly in the eye. If you are caught staring in the general direction of another passenger, turn your gaze.
• Say "hi" to the bus driver.
• Sit on the inside of a two-seater bench.
• Move your bag. Bags don't go on seats, people do.
• Wear deodorant.
• Offer your seat to elderly, disabled, pregnant, or someone with a baby or small child.
• Don't block doorways.
• Let others off before attempting to board.
• When on escalators, "Walk Left, Stand Right"
• Do not ask questions to someone who is wearing headphones.
• Don't initiate racially, politically, sexually, or other controversial rants.
• Keep smelly foods contained.
• Hold the door for someone trying to make it to the elevator.
• When sick try to refrain from coughing/sneezing or cover your mouth.

DRIVING
• Use your turn signals.
• Make smooth stops.
• Don't tailgate.
• Go every other car when slow merging.
• When on the freeway and someone has stopped on the side of the road, move over to the next lane.
• Let the other car in when merging. Wave thanks if you are the one being let in.
• If two people stop at an intersection at the same time, the person on the right has the right of way.
• When on the freeway, pass on the left.
• Do not block the intersection. Do not enter the intersection if you cannot get completely across before the light turns red.
• Don't block driveways.
• Don't take up 2 spaces in a parking lot.
• Dim high-beams when another car is approaching you.
(I like to flash my lights at approaching cars to let them know a cop is near, but now you get a ticket for it.)

INTERNET
• Don't forward chain letters.
• Lurk before you leap (duh).
• Check the FAQ before asking a question.
• Before starting a new thread, check to see if a similar one already exists.
• Don't resurrect old threads if you have nothing significant to say.
• When writing an email, use the subject field descriptively.
• Do not assume the internet is secure. Think of email as a postcard.
• Use spellcheck.
• TYPING IN ALL CAPS IS LIKE SHOUTING.
• Use the BCC (Blind Carbon Copy) field when sending to many people who do not necessarily know each other. This prevents each recipient from having access to the email addresses of the other recipients, thus avoiding invasion of privacy.
• Irony, sarcasm, and humor don't travel as well online as they do in person.
• Don't get involved in or respond to flame wars. see.

GESTURES & SUCH
• Hold open the door for anyone coming through the same door as you in the next 5 seconds.
• If you see someone carrying stuff and walking towards a door, get it for them.
• Knock the lint out of the lint screen after you use the dryer.
• Don't leave your laundry in the washer or dryer for hours after it's done.
• Don't point anything at people.
• If you want the waiter to bring the check, write an invisible check mark in the air. If you just want the waiter to come, make eye contact and raise your hand.
• When eating or drinking food in your own home, offer some to whoever is in the room with you.
• Knock or ring the door bell before entering someone's home/room.
• Do not reach over or across someone, ask for it to be passed.
• Offer to take a guest's coat.
• Attendees at business events should always wear their name badge on their right to assure easy reading while shaking hands.
• The general rule is to leave things the way you found them.

CONVERSATION
• Ask the person you call if he or she can talk before you start a conversation.
• Don't interrupt someone while they're talking.
• Don't hijack the conversation.
• Give people time to speak.
• Invite others in. If you can see that someone is struggling for something to say - help them out.
• Ask questions. Make the questions easy to understand and respond to. That will give the person you're talking to a prompt and help them to relax into talking to you.
• Respect other people's opinions. It doesn't really matter whether the world agrees with you, does it? People are entitled to their opinion and you don't have to launch a single-handed campaign to convince them of the error of their ways. You won't succeed anyway.
• Don't rain on someone's parade, meaning, don't dampen someone's enthusiasm. You may see all sorts of pitfalls in their plans or what they're saying, but do you really have to be the person to tell them? Can't you let them find out these things for themselves?
• Don't be a know-it-all.
• Do not make disagreement personal.
• Don't discuss party plans or events in front of people who may not be invited.
• When talking to a person with a disability, look at and speak directly to that person.
• When speaking with a person in a wheel chair for more than a few minutes, use a chair in order to place yourself at the person's eye level.
• Never curse or make comments that can be interpreted as racist or sexist. Even if the other person makes inappropriate comments during the conversation, keep your approach cool and formal.

comment if you feel i'm missing anything.

healthy alternatives to self-injury

2007-06-03T20:13:13Z

here's a bunch of good advice i've found all over the web to avoid SI.

Ice Cubes
This one is also good if you want to experience the pain of Self Harm. Hold an ice cube in your hand (or several cubes if they are small) until your hand starts hurting. If you need more pain than this provides, you could try squeezing the ice cubes in your hand.

5/4/3/2/1
If it's control that you want to experience with Self harm, this might help you. Try and name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can smell, 2 things you can touch and 1 thing you like about yourself.

Playdough
This is good for expressing anger as well as an alternative to Self Harm. For this you need to make some playdough (red if you are using it for Self Harm). Put the playdough where you want to cut and use a blunt knife to cut through it. If you want to use it for anger, the process of making it (kneading the dough etc) will help to express the anger and also by squeezing and punching it, you will be able to express the anger you are feeling.

Marker Pens and Food Coloring
This is good to use if you like the blood of Self Harm. Use a red marker pen or felt tip pen and draw a mark where you would usually cut. Do it the same as you would if you were cutting, so if you do small, angry cuts, do the same with the pen. If you need something more you can add food coloring to the mark you have just made to represent the blood.

Music
Depending on how you are feeling when you get the urge to Self Harm, listening to music can sometimes help... get up and dance along to it or sit and cry... listen to whichever sort of music feels good for you at the time.

Have a Bath or Shower
If you are feeling tense then this is a good one to do. The water and the temperature should ease the feelings of tension and help you to relax.

Talk to a Mate
This is good for however you feel too. If you have an understanding friend that you can trust, then phone them or meet them online or whatever and just let rip. If you are angry then shout and yell at them, if you are sad then cry your eyes out. Just use your friend as a venting ground until you feel better.

Keep a Diary (Journal)
If you don't feel comfortable or able to express how you feel out loud, you might find it helpful to keep a diary and write down how you feel in there... again, let rip. If you are worried about people seeing what you have written then it might help to buy a lockable diary and keep it with you.

Stay in a Public Place
If, like me, you don't feel comfortable harming yourself unless you are on your own, this might help. It will be hard, but staying out in public where there is a crowd of people might stop you from hurting yourself. It won't take away the urges but it might stop you from Self Harming while you are out.

Relaxation/Deep Breathing
If you are feeling panicky or tense then this might help you to relax and get through your urges. There are lots of methods you can use, but a good basic one is to sit comfortably, back straight, close your eyes and breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Try and fill your lungs as full as possible when you breathe in and empty your lungs as much as you can when you breathe out. Count slowly from 1 to 5 as you breathe in and count back from 5 to 1 when you breathe out... concentrating on your breathing the whole time.

Read a Book
Depending on how you are feeling at the time this might help. If you can find a good book that you can really get into and really enjoy then it might take away the intensity of your urges.

Exercise/Go for a Walk
This is good if you are feeling angry. Try and spend some time at a gym burning off all your feelings while you are there or you could do some sit-ups or press-ups at home. Maybe you could go for a walk. If you go for the walking option, it is usually a good idea to try and walk briskly if you can.

Do Some Housework
Yes, I am serious!! Get the vacuum cleaner out and go through the house going over all the floors or do some washing up. Maybe you could scrub the bathroom clean or clean out all the kitchen cupboards.

Treat yourself
For every hour that you don't harm yourself, treat yourself to something.

Sad, melancholic, depressed or unhappy
• Relax in a warm bath
• Curl up under a big warm duvet with a hot drink and a good book
• Put on some calming, relaxing music and rub moisturizer into the parts of you that you want to cut
• Phone a mate and have a chat about whatever takes your fancy
• Take yourself off to bed with a trayful of treats
• Pamper yourself - whatever makes you feel taken care of/comforted. getting a haircut or buying a happy meal
• Visit a good friend
• Try using henna tattoo paste to draw on yourself
• Create a mental 'safe place'

Angry, restless or frustrated
• Rip up an old piece of clothing
• Try and tear up a thick cardboard box
• Smash an empty soft drinks bottle against a wall
• Crunch up soft drinks cans
• Go to the gym and hit a punching bag
• Use a pillow or cushion and bash it against a wall
• Rip up as many pages of an old newspaper as you can in one go
• Use playdough to take out all your feelings
• Go for a walk and break up any sticks you find along the way
• Do some housework
• Do some exercise/go for a walk
• Try making a soft cloth doll, rip/cut it up to represent how you feel instead of doing it to yourself
• Try hitting something not alive and perhaps talking to the object you are hitting, explaining what's wrong
• Try listening to loud/ angry music, dance/ sing along
• Try dropping ice into a bath or throwing it against a wall so it shatters, or hit a tree with a stick
• Try making clay models to smash

Needing to feel something, feeling depersonalized, feeling unreal or dissociating
• Take some ice into your hands and squeeze it hard
• Put a frozen pack of peas (or whatever) on the area you want to hurt
• Bite into something like a lemon or a hot pepper.
• Wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it hard
• Have a cold bath or shower
• Be around people, perhaps playing games with a younger sibling, hug someone or help someone else
• Open a dictionary in random places and learn new words

Needing to focus on something
• Play a game on the computer that requires concentration
• Find something in the room and examine it closely. Write a detailed description of it including as much information as you can and then try and list all it's possible uses. Try and get the list to 25 - if you can find that many uses try and find 40
• Open up a search engine and do a search for the first word that comes into your head. Go to each page in turn
• Start off at one web page and follow links from that site to other sites and see how far away from the original topic you can get
• Rip or crumple paper, could collage the ripped pieces or scribble on them
• Try setting a target time, for example saying you can harm in 15 minutes, then if you can last, going another 15 minutes.

Wanting to see blood or burns
• Use food coloring on the places you want to see blood
• Use a marker pen to draw where you want to see the burns

Others
• Pump up the volume of your favorite music and doodle on a piece of paper in time to it
• Spin yourself round on the spot until you get dizzy
• Buy a coloring book and some coloring pencils and color in some of the pictures
• Curl up in bed with a stuffed animal
• Do some finger painting with food - ice cream, chocolate pudding, jam, custard... try all sorts of different things
• Get creative - try writing poetry or a story or drawing or painting how you feel
• Go for a walk and smile at everyone you see. If you are feeling braver, say hello to everyone too.
• Pop bubble wrap
• Plan your ideal holiday in your mind and then try and research it all online - destinations, prices, tickets, what there is to do when you get there... as much as you can find
• Look into learning yoga or meditation
• Go through magazines and catalogs and cut out all the words and pictures that make you feel good
• Create a safe place for yourself - somewhere you can go when you are feeling bad
• Buy yourself a special plant and take extra special care of it
• Join a Self Harm community and post to it
• Make a mourning wreath (start with black flowers and replace with colored flowers)
• Repetitive reality checking (It's April 2007, and I'm going to be okay)
• Negotiate with yourself
• Recognize and acknowledge the choices you have NOW
• Carry tokens to remind you of peaceful comforting things/people
• Get away from the stress
• "I'm aware" Repeat 5 things you see, smell, touch, taste in your present surroundings to help ground you in the present
• Make a phone list of people you can call for support. Allow yourself to use it.
• Learn HALT signals (hungry, angry, lonely, tired)
• Accept where you are in the process. Beating yourself up, only makes it worse.
• Take a break from mental processing
• Choose your way of thinking, try to resist following old thinking patterns
• Keep in touch with others who are fighting the same fight
• Check in with yourself and others frequently (try not to isolate)
• Write a letter, NOT mailed, to the person or problem upsetting you
• Pull weeds in a garden
• Plant flowers

also if you're not ready to throw away your blades try wrapping notes to yourself around the blades and put the blades in a box with a note wrapped around the box so when you feel the need to cut you have to go through these notes to yourself. each note should have a positive message and an alternative like, take a walk, to try before harming yourself. if you get through all of the notes and complete each alternative as you unwrap it them but still feel the need to si i guess you can. i don't endorse trying to make it through the notes just to get to the blade, give each note an honest attempt and consideration.

or take a coffee can and fill it halfway with water and freeze it. then put your blades in and fill with more water and freeze again. the end result will be a type of blade popsicle that will hopefully delay you long enough for the urge to pass.

marrow of a bone lyrics - kanji, romaji, english

2007-02-10T16:17:48Z

so you can actually read them now :D

01. CONCEIVED SORROW
イバラに絡む太陽
ため息と混ざってトロケル後悔

見飽きた夢に唾を吐き笑う
孤独に喰われた人たちの心は
残酷に育つ

重ねた白に溶け込む
望まれず壊れた真実は裏腹
微笑みに愛を

すでに陰り朝は死んだ

嗚呼届かない離れてしまう
穢れのない　優しさに　涙と眠りたい

孕んだ嘘は麗らか
剃刀のプールで溺れた涙は
曖昧に甘く…

すでに陰り明日は死んだ

涙も嘘も愛も許せない俺が
大嫌いで…でも戻れないから…

嗚呼届かない離れてしまう
穢れのない　優しさに　涙と眠りたい

背負った茜の空はただ響く
泣き叫ぶ声はもう…聞こえない

01. CONCEIVED SORROW
Ibara ni karamu taiyou
Tameiki to mazatte torokeru koukai

Miaki ta yume ni tsuba o haki warau
Kodoku ni kuwa re ta hito tachi no kokoro ha
Zankoku ni sodatsu

Kasane ta shiro ni tokekomu
Nozoma re zu koware ta shinjitsu ha urahara
Hohoemi ni ai o

Sudeni kageri asa ha shin da

Aa todoka nai hanare te shimau
Kegare no nai Yasashi sa ni Namida to memuri tai

Haran da uso ha uraraka
Kamisori no puuru de obore ta namida ha
Aimai ni amaku?

Sudeni kageri ashita ha shin da

Namida mo uso mo ai mo yuruse nai ore ga
Daikirai de? Demo modore nai kara?

Aa todoka nai hanare te shimau
Kegare no nai Yasashi sa ni Namida to memuri tai

Seotta akane no sora ha tada hibiku
Nakisakebu koe ha mou? Kikoe nai

01. CONCEIVED SORROW
Thorns coiled around the sun
Regret melts with the mixture of a sigh
I spit and laugh at the dreams I've seen enough of
The hearts of men eaten by loneliness grows cruelly

It melts into the layers of white
Undesired
The shattered truth means the opposite
Love to the smile

The gloomy morning has already died
It's going far away, unable to reach
I want to fall asleep in the innocent gentleness with the tears

Lying about being pregnant is so carefree
The drowning tears in the pool made by a razor, taste vaguely sweet

The gloomy tomorrow has already died
I hated myself for not being able to forgive the tears, the lies and the love
But I can't go back

It's going far away, unable to reach
I want to fall asleep in the innocent gentleness with the tears
It just echoes beyond the red sky in the background
The cries can not be... heard anymore

02. LIE BURIED WITH A VENGEANCE
I rail at the sordid you
Something's missing from my mind
這いずり回る虚しき生き様さ (Haizuri mawaru munashiki iki sama sa)
("Crawling around in my meaningless self")
Something's missing from my heart
This is the real world
そうだ押し寄せる感情を捻じ込め (Souda oshiyoseru kanjou o neji kome)
("So all my emotions are locked inside")
So attack　So attack
Delete everything
Crime without reason does exist
I am the soul of revenge

Something's missing from my ears
醜い叫び芽生える愛情か (Minikui sakebi mebaeru aijou ka)
("Does love awaken from an ugly cry?")
Something's missing from my voice
This is the real world
血で血を洗い正義をかかげろ (Chi de chi o arai seigi o kakagero)
("Wipe blood with blood and hail to justice")
So attack　So attack
Delete everything
Crime without reason does exist
I am the soul of revenge

Mind Over All
何もかも投げ捨てろ (Nanimokamo nagesutero)
("Just throw everything away")

Has my head gone mad？
無価値に俺を飾った猿どもか (Mu kachi ni ore o kazatta saru domo ka)
("You monkeys decorate me with no value")
Has my heart gone mad？
This is the real world
溝鼠、ハイエナ、糞豚ばかり (Dobunezumi, haiena, kuso buta bakari)
("It's all just rats, hyenas and pigs")
So attack　So attack
Delete everything
Crime without reason does exist
I am the soul of revenge

Mind Over All
何もかも投げ捨てろ (Nanimokamo nagesutero)
("Just throw everything away")

Taste the destiny
Are you the most superior leader of all？
Fuck, you're a motherfucker

03. THE FATAL BELIEVER
見えているかい？噴き出した漆黒の大地 (Mie te iru kai? Fukidashi ta shikkoku no daichi)
沸いて出た偽証、偽善、最高だろ？ (Wai te de ta gishou, gizen, saikou daro?)

I've been tainted - You are stunning and I just want you

焼け付いて離れない (Yaketsui te hanare nai)
そうさ此処に深く深く重く (Sou sa koko ni fukaku fukaku omoku)
Kill myself
If you can't tell, then you're a hypocrite too, so die!!
Kill them all with the crazy hammer
And destroy their thought
Get hysterical

進化は退化に溺れて (Shinka ha taika ni obore te)
悲しい程情熱が今狂いそう (Kanashii hodo jounetsu ga ima kurui sou)

Please grant me my small wish
骨の髄まで愛してくれ (Hone no zui made aishi te kure)

I've been tainted - You are stunning and I just want you
Now, laugh

焼け付いて離れない (Yaketsui te hanare nai)
そうさ此処に深く深く重く (Sou sa koko ni fukaku fukaku omoku)
Kill myself
If you can't tell, then you're a hypocrite too, so die!!
Kill them all with the crazy hammer
And destroy their thought
Get hysterical

03. THE FATAL BELIEVER
Can you see it? The jet black earth gushed
The false evidence of hoiling out, hypocrisy, isn't it beautiful?

I've been tainted - You are stunning
and I just want you

It's branded and it wont let go
That's right, right here, deep down and heavy
Kill myself
If you can't tell, then you're a hypocrite too, so die!!
Kill them all with the crazy hammer
And destroy their thought
Get hysterical

Evolution drowns in degeneration
It's sad, but my desires are about to go crazy

Please grant me my small wish
Love me to the marrow of my bones

I've been tainted - You are stunning and I just want you
Now, laugh

It's branded and it wont let go
That's right, right here, deep down and heavy
Kill myself
I will never forget
Kill them all with the crazy hammer
And destroy their thought
Get hysterical

04. AGITATED SCREAMS OF MAGGOTS
I'm killing the haughtily fly

I'm gonna slash your wound just like mine
I can't hear the voices of society anymore
I don't understand - You're all fine hypocrites

Shout The Joy

It's the Black Flag, motherfucker!

I wanna shout out to all the trash celebrity stars

I'll rape your daughter on your grave,
I'll rape your daughter on your grave,
I'll rape your daughter on your grave,

I'm gonna slash your wound just like mine
I can't hear the voices of society anymore

I Shoud Die!

It's the Black Flag, motherfucker!

I wanna shout out to all the trash celebrity stars

I'll rape your daughter on your grave,
I'll rape your daughter on your grave,
I'll rape your daughter on your grave,

Cold Blooded

05. GRIEF
Shout up！ That's fucking bullshit
Blood tastes like vanilla

Fuck off
もっともらしい顔して
あざむくことしか頭にない猿
さあ盲人に問う
答えろ

Shout up！ That's fucking bullshit

狡猾の銃が鳴り響く　Headless body,
狡猾の銃が鳴り響く　Headless body,
そうさ笑い狂え　I'm damned

Fuck off
もっともらしい言葉で
すかした顔して否定してんだろ
さあ消える時間だ
祈れよ

狡猾の銃が鳴り響く　Headless body,
狡猾の銃が鳴り響く　Headless body,
そうさ笑い狂え　I'm damned

I say destroy, fuck off
何故だ…　真実を感じずに生きる
何処に愛があるのかさえ──

Shut up！

狡猾の銃が鳴り響く　Headless body,
狡猾の銃が鳴り響く　Headless body,
そうさ笑い狂え　I'm damned

Shout up！ That's fucking bullshit
Blood tastes like vanilla

05. GRIEF
Shout up! That's fucking bullshit
Blood tastes like vanilla

Fuck off
Mottomo rashii kao shi te
Azamuku koto shika atama ni nai saru
Saa moujin ni tou
Kotaero

Shout up! That's fucking bullshit

Koukatsu no juu ga narihibiku Headless body,
Koukatsu no juu ga narihibiku Headless body,
Sou sa warai kurue I'm damned

Fuck off
Mottomo rashii kotoba de
Sukashi ta kao shi te hitei shi te n daro
Saa kieru jikan da
Inore yo

Koukatsu no juu ga narihibiku Headless body,
Koukatsu no juu ga narihibiku Headless body,
Sou sa warai kurue I'm damned

I say destroy, fuck off
Naze da? Shinjitsu o kanji zu ni ikiru
Doko ni ai ga aru no ka sae ??

Shut up!

Koukatsu no juu ga narihibiku Headless body,
Koukatsu no juu ga narihibiku Headless body,
Sou sa warai kurue I'm damned

Shout up! That's fucking bullshit
Blood tastes like vanilla

05. GRIEF
Shout up! That's fucking bullshit
Blood tastes like vanilla

Fuck off
With your righteous face
A monkey that only thinks about deceiving
So now, I ask the blind
Answer

Shout up! That's fucking bullshit
The wily gun resounds Headless body,
The wily gun resounds Headless body,
So laugh your head off I'm damned

Fuck off
With your righteous words
Always in denial with that face
It's time to disappear
Pray

The wily gun resounds Headless body,
The wily gun resounds Headless body,
So laugh your head off I'm damned

I say destroy, fuck off
Why... I live without feeling the truth
I do not even know where love is

Shut up!

The wily gun resounds Headless body,
The wily gun resounds Headless body,
So laugh your head off I'm damned

Shout up! That's fucking bullshit
Blood tastes like vanilla

06. 凌辱の雨
罪無き人さえも
生温い雨に打たれ根づく傷

嘘が今生まれ
どこかで嘘ではなくなって

いつしか言葉もこの日さえ全て
あやまちに埋もれてゆく
青く汚れない記憶抱きしめ

激情の涙に希望さえ滲んでゆき
今を生きてゆく強ささえ…
激情に狂い嘆き
祈りを夕日にかかげ

burning from the inside
crying with pain
アナタニハスクエナイ

激情の涙に失った優しさとは
生まれここに与えられた愛
失った心の理由
自分の弱さだろ…？

It is then the proof of sadness, caused by absolute justice
In the lukewarm rain which does not stop．．．

06. Ryoujoku no ame
Tsuminai hito sae mo
Naminurui ame ni utare ne zuku kizu

Uso ga ima umare
Doko kara de uso de wa naku natte

Itsushiku kotoba mo kono hi sae subete
Ayamachi ni umorete yuku
Aoku kegarenai kioku dakishime

Gekijyou no namida ni kibou sae nijinde yuki
Ima wo ikite yuku tsuyosa sae...
Gekijyou ni kurui nageki
Inori wo yuuhi ni kakage

Burning from the inside
Crying with pain.
ANATA NI WA SUKUENAI

Gekijyou no namida ni ushinatta yasashisa to wa
Umare koko ni ataerareta ai
Ushinatta kokoro no wake
Jibun no yawosa daro?

It is then the proof of sadness, caused by absolute justice
In the lukewarm rain which does not stop...

06. Ryoujoku no ame
The lukewarm raindrops cause a deep wound, even to the innocent

A lie is born
And somewhere the lie becomes something else

Someday, all the words, the day and everything else will get buried in the mistake
I hold dear to me, a blue and pure memory

My hope fades away from the angry tears
Even the strength to live
In a fit of passion I go crazy with greif
And so, I pray to the setting sun

burning from the inside
crying with pain
You can not save me

The lost sense of generosity from the angry tears, is
The love given tome as I am born
The reason for my lost heart
Must be my own weakness...?

It is then the proof of sadness, caused by absolute justice

In the lukewarm rain which does not stop...

07. DISABLED COMPLEXES
Ah, I can't sleep again tonight
Because you exist
Because I was raped by you
Why do you believe their voices?
Ah, I won't be able to sleep again tomorrow

I threw away, even my slightest hope
Deep down
And I go mad again tonight - And again tonight I go mad

Ah, I can't sleep again tonight
Because you exist
Because I was raped by you
Why do you believe their voices?

I can't coexist in the fabricated society with a crowl
There is no meaning in living

The world is full of psychos
In your mind
誓う言葉もない　流す涙も枯れて (Chikau kotoba mo nai Nagasu mo kare te)
("No words to pray The tears go dry")

Tonight I go mad

Psycho killer

08. ROTTING ROOT
FATE
まともじゃねえから今から弾け (Matomo ja nee kara ima kara hike)
Into the night
Honey open up your mouth

FATE
まともじゃねえから今から飛べよ (Matomo ja nee kara ima kara tobe yo)
Into the night
Honey spread your wings
Into the night
価値も無い嘘と絶叫をきさまらに (Kachi mo nai uso to zekkyou o ki sama ra ni)

Fuckin' tricky men

Mother
途切れ途切れの意思が今 (Togire togire no ishi ga kon)
敵意に満ちた声を響かせ今を刻め (Tekii ni michi ta koe o hibikase ima o kizame)

I may be tainted
but I can't forgive them
ever...

I'll rip away the wings of the blind
Will no longer demand

Mother
ただ生きているだけの無能なその声 (Tada iki te iru dake no munou na sono koe)
出せない夢も愚かな泡となって (Dase nai yume mo oroka na awa to natte)
消えろ (Kiero)

Fuckin' tricky men

Fate

I may be tainted
but I can't forgive them
ever...

08. ROTTING ROOT
FATE
It ain't sane, so play
Into the night
Honey open up your mouth

FATE
It ain't sane, so jump
Into the night
Honey spread your wings
Into the night
I give you all a lie worth nothing and screams

Fuckin' tricky men

Mother
The pieces of my wish all come together now
Let my hostile voice be heard as I live this moment

I may be tainted
but I can't forgive them
ever．．．

I'll rip away the wings of the blind
Will no longer demand

Mother
My incompetent voice of just living
My long lost dream turns into foolish bubbles
Disappear

Fuckin' tricky men

Fate

I may be tainted
but I can't forgive them
ever．．．

09. 艶かしき安息、躊躇いに微笑み

手の届かない透き通る闇、指の隙間から覗き込んだ　この世界に　千切れてゆく
赤　細い腕が綺麗な君の嘘　雨に濡れ、たたずんだ希望も嘘？　朽ち果ての夢で
廻るハルカカナタ滲む空はただただ暮れる　薄れてゆく存在さえ遅れてゆくまま
　無駄に泣いた　事に今も　気が付けないまま　ただ怖い　風鈴、闇を裂き　生
暖かい風と息を殺し　朽ち果ての夢で廻るハルカカナタ滲む空はただただ…　昨
日までの夜を振り返ればもう…もう二度と…光は消え…叶わない…もう二度と…
　もう誰も…全て消えろ　叫び生きて耐え抜いた痛みと　闇の向こう鈴の元へ

09. namamekashiki ansoku, tamerai hohoemi
Te no todoka nai sukitooru yami, yubi no sukima kara nozoki kon da Kono sekai ni Sen kire te yuku
Aka Hosoi ude ga kirei na kimi no uso Ame ni nure, tatazun da kibou mo uso? Kuchihate no yume de
Meguru harukakanata nijimu sora ha tadatada kureru Usure te yuku sonzai sae okure te yuku mama
Muda ni nai ta Koto ni ima mo Ki ga tsuke nai mama Tada kowai Fuurin, yami o saki Nama
Atatakai kaze to iki o koroshi Kuchihate no yume de Meguru harukakanata nijimu sora ha tadatada? Saku
Hi made no yoru o furikaere ba mou? Mou nidoto? Hikari ha kie? Kanawa nai? Mou nidoto?
Mou dare mo? Subete kiero Sakebi iki te taenui ta itami to Yami no mukou suzu no moto he

09. namamekashiki ansoku, tamerai hohoemi
The clear unreachable darkness I sneak a peek inbetween my fingers
The red rips through into this world
You, with the beautiful skinny arm, and your lie. Wet from the rain
Can my lingered hope be a lie too?
The crumbling dream spins in the blurred sky, far away. And the sky goes dark.
The vanishing existance soon fades out. Even now, I don't realize that all my cries meant nothing. Just scared
The windchime cuts through the darkness, I kill my breath with the warm subtle wind
The crumbling dream spins away in the blurred sky far away
And the sky just
I reminisce the days until yesterday
And I will never again... The light has vanished... Unable to make it come true...
Never again... I don't need anyone... Let it all vanish, I scream out
Living and bearing through it all
Beyond the darkness... To where the bell is

10. THE PLEDGE
見詰めてた淡い願いを描き
何故震えている？孤独を抱え少年は晴天の空に何も無いことの意味を

何故に理念は春　はるか遠い約束の声　もう聞こえやしないさ

流れ形を変えてゆき消える　今も心奪われ焼け付く鎖の跡　うらぶれた声　此処に独り

何故に理念は春　はるか遠い約束の声　もう聞こえやしないさ

This is my pledge to you
まだ上手く生きられないのさ　変えられるのはただ…

明日に生かされても　何も変わるはずのない日々　まだ終われない

こみ上げる心がまだ咲くのなら　答えてみろよ

誰も癒せやしない

10. THE PLEDGE
Mitsume te ta awai negai o egaki
Naze furue te iru? Kodoku o kakae shounen ha seiten no sora ni nani mo nai koto no imi o

Naze ni rinen ha haru Haruka tooi yakusoku no koe Mou kikoe yashi nai sa

Nagare gata o kae te yuki kieru Ima mo kokoro ubawa re yaketsuku kusari no ato Urabure ta koe Koko ni hitori

Naze ni rinen ha haru Haruka tooi yakusoku no koe Mou kikoe yashi nai sa

This is my pledge to you
Mada umaku iki rare nai no sa Kae rareru no ha tada?

Asu ni ikasa re te mo Nani mo kawaru hazu no nai hibi Mada owa re nai

Komiageru kokoro ga mada saku no nara Kotae te miro yo

Dare mo iyase yashi nai

10. THE PLEDGE
I vision the small wish that I had been gazing
Why are you shivering?
The lonely boy looks up at the lonely sky that carries no meaning.

Where is the philosophy of spring
The long lost promise
It can not be heard anymore

As time goes by, it changes shape and disappears
Even now, after my heart was taken and rotted
My miserable voice
I am alone

Where is the philosophy of spring
The long lost promise
It can not be heard anymore

This is my pledge to you
I can't live successfully yet
But I think I can change

Even if tomorrow lets me live
The days will not change
It will not end

If my full blown heart will bloom again
Then answer me

I can not comfort anyone.

11. REPETITION OF HATRED
ほざいていろ何時までもそこで　俺は一つ何かをただ握り潰す (Hozai te iro nan ji made mo sokode Ore ha hitotsu nani ka o tada nigiritsubusu)
Is this really where I belong?

群がる血は迫害に解け　流れ出す賛美の宴 (Muragaru chi ha hakugai ni toke Nagaredasu sanbi no utage)

力でねじ伏せろ (Chikara de nejifusero)
It's a perfectly dead passion
It's an entirely dead passion
Parasite children of hatred
I hate you - Dead passion
泥に埋もれ (Doro ni uzumore) Embryo burning
破裂しよう (Haretsu shiyo) u My pleasure

Slow Down
Move on darkness

It's a perfectly dead passion
It's an entirely dead passion
Parasite children of hatred
I hate you - Dead passion

11. REPETITION OF HATRED
Just bitch as long as you want. I'm just gonna crush something to pieces
Is this really where I belong?

Persecute all blood that flock together. As it will flow out, the glorification feast

Shut them up by force
It's a perfectly dead passion
It's an entirely dead passion
Parasite children of hatred
I hate you - Dead passion
Buried in dirt Embryo burning
Lets destroy My pleasure

Slow Down
Move on darkness

It's a perfectly dead passion
It's an entirely dead passion
Parasite children of hatred
I hate you - Dead passion

12. THE DEEPER VILENESS
I have fun listening to your lies...
I shout out joy and you shout for help
Fuck! I hate you!
Dear God, You're a MOTHERFUCKER
Death for All - Death for All
I'm your worst nightmare,
Fuck off! I wanna die!

I don't even think of you as my friend
I don't even think of you as my friend

You deceived me and sold me out
Take off that mask of rectitude!
Pretender that hurts one's eyes, voice that jars on one's ear

Fuck 'em all without a care
Fake rock wannabes... just die

I don't even think of you as my friend
I don't even think of you as my friend

The maze, it's so cold
I'll die in a world of lies and deceits

By tomorrow I'll be in despair
It was destined

I have fun listening to your lies...
I shout out joy and you shout for help
Fuck! I hate you!
Dear God, You're a MOTHERFUCKER
Death for All - Death for All
I'm your worst nightmare,
Fuck off! I wanna die!

I don't even think of you as my friend
I don't even think of you as my friend

The maze, it's so cold
I'll die in a world of lies and deceits
I'll die in a world of lies and deceits

13. CLEVER SLEAZOID
Wake up you’re dead

Doing meaningless shit over and over
I’m just a third-rated star covered in blood
See the prince on the rocking horse, his polishied face looks cool
I’m just gonna spill my guts on you

Under the name of Justice
You can’t break my soul
Under the name of Justice
Kill yourself
Think, you moran
Fall out of line you cockroach

Right, left, front, and back, it overflows with despair and pain
They say this anger, this emotion, and this passion is all a lie
Wither…
I’m not even trying to justify myself

The dark dark Sunday, the blood stains
You can’t save yourself
The dark dark Sunday, the blood stains
One day I will fuck your parents

This is the last time
Welcome to the garden of destruction

聲も出ないくらいに．．．そんな今に一人と氣付く
(koe mo denai kurai ni... sonna ima ni hitori to kidzuku)
("And now I realize that I am alone and the shock is enough to leave me breathless")

The night is cold and long
The night sky is deep and wide

The Dark Dark Sunday, the blood stains
You can't save yourself
The dark dark Sunday, the blood stains
One day I will fuck your parents